Estro-Men
by Darrin Barker July 13, 2013
The following article was published in 2013 on Kayleigh McEnany's political opinion website 'Political Prospect'. This news website had to be closed down in 2017 when Kayleigh was appointed national spokesperson for the Republican National Committee.
Jill: “In the past month, you have done the following things -- backed a pickup truck into a house, almost electrocuted yourself three times, nailed your shoe to the floor, and glued your head to a table.”
Tim: “What's your point?”
Jill: “My point is it's not the chain letter that's causing the bad luck, it's you. You're a klutz, isn't that great?”
Tim: “Honey, I'm thrilled.” (Home Improvement, Season 1, episode 19 -Unchained Malady)
The sitcom Home Improvement dominated its time slot throughout the eight seasons it aired. In each episode the incompetent ‘Tool Man’ stumbled into problematic situations which he proved intellectually incapable of overcoming. After predictably ignoring the sensible advice of his wife for the bulk of each episode, his troubles only became resolved after finally admitting she had been right all along. The entire series was based on exaggerating negative aspects of masculine behavior while simultaneously amplifying the nobility of women. The popularity of Tim Allen’s sitcom always amazed me, as by the middle of season one I had grown tired of being kicked in the genitals every Tuesday night. The ratings indicated an unexplainable percentage of American men had no objection.
Home Improvement holds its place as a cultural leader of the husband/father bashing formula. Sure, placing characters in comedic situations is the very definition of half-hour programs, but up until the mid-eighties family television occasionally portrayed fathers with a wise, selfless, advice giving side as well. Those positive male characteristics had all but disappeared by the time Tim Allen created Home Improvement in 1991. Sitcom fathers were transformed into selfish, child-like, bumbling fools requiring the patient guidance of a woman just to function daily life. Home Improvement, Coach, Cosby Show, Mad About You, Everybody Loves Raymond, and even the animated Simpson’s are some of the most popular among a plethora of sitcoms fitting this template.
The man bashing formula seeped into dramas, advertising, and even action movies. The standard humor-based television ad consists of a woman analyzing important product information while her idiot husband is mesmerized into stupidity by the sight of a shiny car or big screen TV. But the modern formula is not limited to the comedy venue. The last three decades have produced an oversupply of dramas that climax when the dominant male character who behaved analytically throughout the course of the film finally breaks down and cries in admission of his mistakes – often his foremost mistake was neglecting to sooner express his emotions. Tears are miraculously followed by happily ever after and rolling credits – or that fictional slow clap moment of perfect unity and sudden agreement. Then we have the caricature of a man – the quintessential man’s man. After narrowly escaping death on the big screen for 23 flicks over the last fifty years James Bond was finally taken out by feminism. I can understand modernizing the character by making him more respectful to women. But please tell me why it was so necessary to make 007 cry? Is nothing sacred anymore?
Meanwhile, there remains some apparent writing guild moratorium on mother/wife critique or satire. Open display of feelings is the only Hollywood accepted problem solving technique. Quelling an emotional reaction to dilemmas in favor of logic has gone out with the rotary dial telephone. The entire entertainment industry has morphed into After School Specials and Hallmark Channel productions laced with a new definition of right and wrong. Emotional display is good while logic and discipline are cruel and selfish. Today the only male characters written to be heroic must include strong scenes of emotional weakness. I challenge any doubter to site a recent production highlighting a strict disciplinary parenting technique as superior to the new age ‘best friend’ style. Even more difficult may be to find a single television commercial post 1990 highlighting the irresponsibility of a wife in contrast to her more intelligent and reasonable husband. Even superheroes must lose emotional control to make it in Hollywood today. Only a feminized, over-emotional, estro-man is qualified to be a male role model. I am still searching for the list of problems that can be solved by whimpering like a toddler. Terrorism? Unemployment? Deficit spending? Discrimination? Corruption? Illegal immigration? Racism? Nope. I cannot think of one single issue group tears will resolve. Yet offering solutions based on pure logic is considered unenlightened in our advanced civilization. No wonder nothing can get solved in Washington D.C. today.
The Feminist agenda was originally sold with legitimate issues. Equal pay for equal work and ending sexual discrimination by financial institutions were essential moves toward modernizing our society. Encouraging entertainment venues to portray women more fairly was important as well. The first 30 years of television limited female roles to obedient wives, mothers, and secretaries. Young girls growing up in the 50’s and 60’s were rarely encouraged to pursue positions of authority. The power of equal rights organizations were greatly needed to remove societal limitations women were burdened with. Meanwhile they observed power hungry men destroy lives through blind ambition. Being judged by the worst among us, masculinity itself became the enemy. Earning equal acceptance on the male dominated playing field was never the final goal of radical feminists. The revengeful wing took over political groups with a goal of instigating deep societal changes. The real ambition became getting even with their apparent oppressors while restructuring the playing field in their own image. With the powerful influence of Hollywood, public education, and the news media two generations of men have now grown up in fear of political correctness defined by extreme feminists seeking vengeance against generations of men who have mostly passed on.
Looking at modern trends of college graduation rates and spousal income comparisons it appears some societal form of self-fulfilling prophecy has taken place. Three women graduate college for every two men. Women are now the bread winners in 40% of married households. Maybe that was the goal all along. Instead of improving the male population it now appears the societal shift has created an increasing percentage of irresponsible, financially dependent, emotionally volatile estro-men as stereotypical male behaviors are slowly being purged from American culture. Masculinity used to indicate a combination of inner and outer strength. Rather than burdening his loved ones with everyday problems a man would silently solve them requiring no salutations. A man was determined, independent, and not easily offended. Personal accomplishments defined him while handouts were the greatest insult. A real man understood that life is not fair and never will be. He did not care what ‘others’ were doing and never – under any circumstances – would he publicly display his feelings. Sure he bottled up some emotion – but that was the reason he went to the gym and punched a bag or yelled at the TV screen during football games. Teenage boys learned by observation – usually while giving dad a hand in the garage – that an F-bomb tirade directed at a stubborn engine bolt is a perfectly healthy way to release frustration. This was once a natural conditioning passed on from father to son so that during the roughest moments in life he could remain calm and allow logic to overpower emotion.
Despite all of my sweeping generalization there is no doubt our society on average has become more emotional, less logical, and celebratory of characteristics once considered negative. Feminism is certainly not to blame for all of our problems, but indeed has played its part. There was a biological reason men passed tools of emotional suppression on for many generations. The truth is that women typically have much more emotional control than men do – not less as many assume. Women can share their feelings with friends alleviating the build-up of stress. Quite differently a man’s instincts are to immediately act upon his emotion – which is why it is frequently advisable for guys to mask feelings from even themselves. Most boys must learn to fight off direct reaction with calm logic – a skill much more natural to young ladies. In attempt to break the worst male characteristics political influence condemned all masculine behavior. The feminist agenda has succeeded. Men in America have changed . . . I only wish it were for the better.
